Hank was the top salesman at Cowboy Bob’s Auto Mart until the day that Sven showed-up. Both men were great salesmen and competitive by nature, they were the leading salesmen at Cowboy Bob’s month after month. Cowboy Bob had trouble keeping enough inventory.

Hank had cars in his blood growing up in the car business. His dad owned a small used car lot in central Oklahoma. During his high school years, Hank was member of the high school golf team, the game just fit his competitive nature. His coach always said, Hank just seemed to find a way to win every match.

Sven was an Army brat who attended six different high schools in four different countries. He hated moving, making new friends and leaving them just as the bond was developing. To avoid depression Sven’s golf clubs became his best friend and they were always there. While other kids were listening to music and talking on the phone, Sven spent his time chipping and putting on the living room carpet or hitting his shag balls. Sven was not a great ball striker but could invent a way to get it up and down from an Army latrine.

Quickly the two salesmen became friends who loved to compete against each other. They started playing golf every Sunday. Many days they played 36 holes. They always played for game and started at $10 per hole, double on birdies. The two proudly played strictly by the USGA rules and there were no “gimmes”.

That was 20 years ago. About a year after Sven showed up Hank moved to Tulsa. His dad’s friend, who owned a Chevy dealership, offered Hank the job as assistant GM. The owner had no children to inherit the business. As part of the deal, Hank was promised the opportunity to someday purchase the dealership as an exit strategy. Hank got rich quickly!

Shortly after Hank left, Sven sold a car to a very smart and beautiful young woman. She needed a roomy sedan to haul clients for her new business as a real estate agent. Six months later they were married. Soon after, Sven got his real estate license, and they teamed up. The power salesman couple quickly became a very successful real estate business.

Hank and Sven each joined a private club in their community where they kept their skills sharp playing several times per week. For reasons known only to them, the old rivals didn’t share their relationship with many people. Maybe they didn’t want their friends to know they came from a used car background.

Each fall the old rivals spend three days together getting their adrenaline flowing playing golf. They travel to some exotic golf destination to play golf for bigger money, $50 per hole $100 for birdies, drink big reds and eat the finest steaks and sea foods. They love the Caribbean because the cigars were great.

Our critters story begins on one such trip to a distant Caribbean Island. The golf course had several holes that border the sea. Nowhere on the golf course were red or yellow stakes to be found. A golf ball is either on the sand or in the ocean. Our car salesman buddies still play strictly by USGA Rules of golf. No gimmes, all putts are holed.

During the second round of the second day Hank pushed his tee shot on the long dog-leg right 5th hole. The ball took a violent ricochet off the beach-side cart path. After a second cart path ricochet Sven said, “You gained a lot of distance from the path, but you will have to play that ball off the beach.”

Sven sent a low fade rescue club running onto the front of the narrow green beach side green. Then hopped on the cart with Hank who drove about 60 yards farther down the path. Both sets of eyes searched the smooth sand for Hanks new ProV1, now wearing two new cart path scars.

Hank stopped the cart and grabbed his 6 and 7 irons. “One of these should work,” he smiled. Sven joined his rival as the search for Hank’s golf ball began.

“A ball should be easy to see on this yellow sand,” Hank stated optimistically. After a few minutes Hank said, “Look there is a fresh crab hole. A big one, half as big as a golf cup. Look there is even a fresh golf ball track rolling directly into the crab hole.”

“Does the track show a ProV1 dimple pattern with a red dot and two fresh cart path scrapes?” Sven smiled.

Hank argued, “The rules state that if a burrowing animal hole interferes with ball or stance the golfer gets a free drop.”

Sven vocalized, “Wait just a moment I will look up the rule on my iPhone. I have the USGA app.” After a few moments Sven holds his iPhone so they can both view the rule. Sven reads aloud, “Rule 16.1,e – Relief for a Ball Not Found in or on Abnormal Course Condition. If a player’s ball has not been found and it is known or virtually certain that the ball came to rest in or on an abnormal course condition on the course, the player may use this relief option instead of taking stroke-and-distance relief.”

Hank says, “So you see the line from a golf ball into the crab hole, I get free relief!”

Sven shouts, “Wait a minute…….”

The argument continues for three days each fall.