The new Rules of Golf instituted by the USGA and R&A on January 1, 2019 certainly have caused quite a stir on the PGA TOUR. TOUR Professionals like Webb Simpson, Justin Thomas and Brooks Koepka regularly bash the changes. Calls for an immediate review of the new rules, at a minimum, or a complete rewrite are in the air.

All this consternation has resurrected the calls for bifurcated rules (something that golf’s governing bodies have consistently and flatly rejected). Basically, professional golfers are asking for there to be two sets of rules: a game-friendly set of rules for amateurs and one more designed for tournament players.

Historically I’ve not favored two sets of rules, especially because there are already local rules available to any facility or tournament, but I’m starting to change my belief. IF there were two sets of rules, and I was in charge of making the changes for the amateur game… well… this could be fun!

The first thing I would change would be a ball inadvertently moved by a player WOULD NOT be a penalty. I don’t care if you were removing a lose impediment or if your putter gets stuck in your clothes and you accidentally tap the ball. You didn’t mean to move it so just put the damn thing back where it was and play on.

Another change that might make the game easier is raise the number of clubs an amateur can put in play. What the heck… why not eliminates the rule all together? If Mr. Havacamp wants to have 17 clubs, including two drivers and three chippers, let him have it. How does limiting the number of clubs to 14 protect players from others gaining an unfair advantage or hurt the integrity of the game?

This next change is more because it just sounds weird, but can we please go back to calling water hazards HAZARDS. Why the hell, if we are trying to bring new people into the game would we call them Penalty Areas? Why make the game sound more penal than it already actually is?

I’ll give the USGA and R&A some credit; allowing people to leave the flagstick in the cup at any time is genius! Not only does it speed up play, but according to some that have studied the topic, makes holing putts easier.

Sorry… I probably shouldn’t have let the Blue Blazers know that. Making the game easier makes them squeamish.

While there are a ton of rules that could be adjusted to suit the weekend hacker, I will admit that most of the examples I used would not make much sense on any of the world’s professional Tours. So that is really where the line truly needs to be drawn. It’s time to make rules for the recreational golfer AND rules that govern tournament play.

So here are some of MY rules for the recreational game.

• If you show up to the course with less than 5 minutes before your tee time, incur a one stroke penalty… BUT… you get to hit a maximum of two tee shots off the first tee and keep the better of the two.
• If you get to the golf shop counter and ask the Professional any of the following:
  1. What’s the course record and where’s the first tee?
  2. How much are greens-fees? Oh, but it’s free for me… right?
  3. Is the beverage cart girl cute?
  4. Can I take out that new (still in the wrapper, non-demo) driver out for a spin?
  5. Is it going to rain today?
  6. Can I pay at the turn?

The player shall receive a TWO stroke penalty AND must buy the first round from the beverage cart WITHOUT making any rude statements to said attendant.

• Playing partners can allow one “extra shot” to anyone in the group any time said player unintentionally distracts a fellow player while in act of making a stroke. Put simply, if your cell phone rings in the middle of the backswing of another player… let them play the ball again if they wish.
• WHILE WE ARE TALKING CELL PHONES… anyone that spends more than 30 min in 9 holes (60 min for 18) will incur a TWO-stroke penalty for each minute over the allotted time. If you have to be on the phone that long… go back to the office!

Obviously, most of these examples are tongue in cheek (not the pro shop questions… we really are all sick of hearing those), the point is this, there are actually two forms of the game; recreational play and tournament play. Are the new rules a little better in some areas and a little worse in other? Of course; but it might actually be time to make two sets of rules. Instead of rules for professionals’ vs. amateurs, the distinction should be tournament play vs. recreational play.