|The Dad Golf Workout|
By Steven PeaseTour pros have a well defined pre-round routine. You've probably seen the videos with a ticker counting down the minutes as they prepare for their round on the range, with a specific series of chips, putts, bunker shots, irons and drivers.
However, 90 minutes before their tee time nearly every pro can be found not on the range, but in the fitness trailer getting "warmed up". These temperature-controlled 18-wheelers -- one for strength and conditioning, one for physical therapy -- can be found at every Tour stop from January through November. Workout routines vary, but usually start on the treadmill, move to the balance ball, incorporate a few minutes using the PowerBandz, all while activating their glutes under the watchful eye of a certified trainer before honing their tee shots and short game in preparation for the first tee.
Your average dad has no such luxury, no sir. 90 minutes before we fly on to the first tee, your prototypical dad can likely be found finishing their physio prep in the form of weed whacking, putting the mower away, and maybe taking a few minutes with a backyard chipping net or Birdie Ball to "get their feel". Or, if they're lucky, taking their babies to the park while dreaming of that baby draw off of the first tee.
But that doesn't mean that fathers can't find the time to warm up before their round, a la tour pros. You just have to adapt. Instead of the tour trailer, use the living room. Instead of high-end equipment use your kiddos. Not that you have much choice - good luck getting any semblance of a workout in while two kids under 5 are within 5 feet of you.
Why not combine your need to get a workout in with your responsibilities as a dad? If you follow these workouts, you'll be warmed up, all while putting a smile on the beautiful little faces of your little ones. While my team of high-powered attorneys insists I share that I am most certainly not a certified personal trainer and the workouts below should be done with that nugget in mind, before your next round I recommend trying the Dad Golf Workout. It'd be a lot cooler if you did.
3 sets of 10 Daughter/Son Squats supersets. Use a 25-pound weight (infant daughter, preferably your own). Hold baby in a sturdy but caring fashion, preferably away from your face (as to avoid any unwanted fluids, or scare them with your expressions of workout pain). Take an athletic stance with feet shoulder-width apart. While holding aforementioned infant at a 90-degree angle, squat at knees into a sitting position. Repeat 9 times.
3 sets of 10 Daddy Planks. With a 40-pound son on your back, take a "pushup" position on the ground while engaging your core. Don't have a core to speak of? That's OK. Just suck in your gut - same difference. Next, hold that pushup (also known as a modified plank) position for 60 seconds (use your phone's timer) while your son attempts to playfully hang onto your neck, unwittingly choking you. You'll no doubt feel the burn, and the love.
3 sets of 10 Couch Jumps. Scientific fact: There's no known way to get a child to stop jumping on the couch (it's hardcoded in their DNA). Unlike parents, Tour trainers actually encourage their pros to do jump training known as plyometrics - leaping over 18-inch boxes while claiming it will "make them more explosive." Rather than "exploding" in anger because your son has decided for the 18th time to jump off of the couch like a midget LeBron James, why not just join in on the fun, er, workout. Assuming your couch is approximately 18 inches off the ground and sturdy, remove the couch cushions. Next, face the couch and remove your child from the line of leaping. Finally, jump up and land with both feet at the same time, and immediately back down landing on two feet where you began. Alternate Couch Jumps with the kiddos, and you'll quickly become King of the Couch while working on your calves.
Rickie Fowler, Protracer Artiste
If you're under the age of 25, you're probably familiar with the social app, Snapchat. It's like Facebook, but without the crazy Trump rants. One man who is making a name for himself is none other than Rick Yutaka "Rickie" Fowler. While I'm more of a snapper than a chatter on Snapchat, I enjoy seeing an up-close and personal look at a young pro golfer's life. Whether he's flying on a private jet to Vegas, or taking in a round at a tropical locale with fellow pros, Rick is pretty slick when it comes to drawing on his chats.
Like any golfer, Rickie is a fan of Protracer technology. (The same Protracer technology that was just sold to TopGolf - the bar / driving range where Mr. Fowler enjoys hanging out.) When his refined swing isn't being traced, Rickie and his crew enjoy marking up his golf Snapchats in the Protracer milieu. They're equal parts hilarious and geeky. In fact, I've even played with a few youngins who have taken to "protracing" their buddies' videos on the golf course.
Sooner or later we'll be able to track and trace shots in real time. Yes, there will be an app for that. Forget an RFID-enabled golf ball. Why not create a golf ball that's traceable via an app? Not only would it be fun to stand behind your buddy and trace the shot in real time from your phone, but it would - in theory - end lost golf balls. Forever. Think about it.
Statistics Say Day, but Spieth Repeats at Oakmont
Edward Stimpson invented the Stimpmeter, which measures the speed of a green, shortly after attending the 1935 U.S. Open at Oakmont Country Club. While Wikipedia tells us this, it's nonetheless true. The old adage is that Oakmont membership actually slows down the greens for the U.S. Open. Not sure if that's true, but even if it isn't no one wins at Oakmont unless they have control of the flatstick.
As of early June, Jason Day leads the tour in Strokes Gained Putting. Day's towering irons and laser-pointer driving skills have been impressive since last year's U.S. Open at Chamber's Bay. You know he wants it, but no one is as clutch as Jordan Spieth. The fact is that Spieth is peaking at just the right time. After a post-Masters lull, Spieth made a statement - carding a back 9, 30 at The Colonial that included six birdies. The final three of which, he was basically laughing at his own ridiculously good short game.
After his 1993 British Open win at Greg Norman was infamously quipped "I was in awe of myself." While Spieth wouldn't dare say such a thing - let alone refer to himself in the first person - that's exactly what it seemed like at Colonial. Come Father's Day, if Spieth's Scotty stays hot and he stays healthy, my money is on Spieth hoisting that trophy once again in the Pittsburgh heat. And all of us will again be in awe.
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